You Can't Do That With People

One Crossdresser's Journey Through Life

Archive for the month “January, 2014”

The funny side…..

Being like this provides some amusing moments.

Like many of us, I “operate” out of a storage unit. So, on Saturday morning, I headed over there to transform. My unit is upstairs on the second floor of the building, and there was a woman working at the unit next to where I go in. She smiled and said “Good Morning”, and I returned the greeting. An hour later, I left en femme, and although her car was still there, there was no sign of her. Fast forward several hours, and dear Joanne returns. There was the woman, still working away. She smiled and we exchanged pleasantries, but I don’t think she made the connection. After going back to drab (sigh), I left, and on driving around the building, I found that the exit gate was out of order. No problem, as the entrance gate has a keypad on the inside for such situations. As I passed her unit, I saw her there, so put the window down to let her know that the gate wasn’t working. She thanked me, but seemed a little bewildered. Maybe she’s figured it out. As an aside, there were other people there today who saw both versions. They didn’t seem bothered. That makes three of us 🙂

In between all this, as Elisabeth and I left the cafe where we had lunch, I felt that something wasn’t right. I realised that one of my suspenders had come adrift. Stockings wearers will know the feeling. So, I made my way back to my car, and found myself stuck at a red light on Santa Monica Boulevard. An ideal opportunity to reunite stocking and suspender as they are meant to be. So, I discreetly raise the left hand side of my skirt, make the necessary correction and hear a horn to my left followed by a cry of “YOU GO GIRL!“. I look to my left and there’s a truck, somewhat higher than me, with a woman looking out of the passenger side window and giving me two thumbs up! I smiled and returned the gesture. I wonder if she was wearing too….or was she one of us?

Finally…..this one started about a week ago. I dropped three outfits off at my cleaner, one of which is a leopard print jacket with black skirt. I went back in drab to collect them, and as they came round on the carousel, I remarked “There they are”, to which the lady replied, smiling, “I thought that, the leopard print is your colour”. Cue opportunity for fun. I took the hangers back today. Unfortunately, the lady who commented wasn’t there, but the girl who was there has served me before. I wonder if she realised……

I never knew how much fun being this way could be!

A packed weekend….and Monday too!

Oh, where to begin….

On Saturday, I travelled to West Hollywood to lunch with the charming and, dare I say it, sassy Elisabeth Dale of The Breast Life. This momentous event was, of course, preceded by a manicure 🙂

Those of you who have been reading from the very beginning will recall me waxing lyrical about Elisabeth and her writings some time ago. Elisabeth is working on a piece related to crossdressing, so who better to pick the brains of than a CD? Two hours of chat flew by all too quickly, and we’ll be continuing to exchange thoughts as time goes on. I think I’ve made a new friend! A trip to Macy’s on the way back yielded two pairs of earrings, one of which is, bizarrely, a perfect match for a bracelet I bought at Kohl’s a month ago!

Today provided an appointment with my therapist, the lovely Dr. Judy, whom I almost caused to have a heart attack the first time she saw me en femme! We haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I think our relationship has developed since she met Joanne. I look forward to it continuing. Even though I’m not “ill” and as such, can’t be “cured”, it’s good to have someone to share experiences with. Seeing a clinical psychologist occasionally can be helpful for some of us.

There’s also been some funny experiences this weekend, which I’ll share shortly…..

One Year On….

So, here we are. January 25th, 2014. One year ago today, I ventured out for the first time. I crossed my personal “Bridge of Spies”, as it were. This is what I believe. This is a part of me.

Thanks, Carol and Ronnie.

Stepping up to the plate – Her Room

The Internet is full of stories about lousy customer service, so for a change, here’s one about excellent service.

I bought a girdle (Rago 6210, for those who really want to know) from Her Room. Yesterday, I took it out of the packaging and was about to wear it for the first time when I noticed that something didn’t look right. The two front garters were missing. Not there. Not just the garters, the sewn-in loops to hold them. I checked with Her Room via their Twitter feed just to make sure that this wasn’t some sort of new innovation, and was given the e-mail address of their Customer Service Manager. This morning, I got an e-mail response, immediately followed by a no-charge return label. Additionally, one of their team called me just to confirm that everything was in hand.

Things go wrong from time to time – we’re human, and we’re not infallible. However, dealing with a problem is what sets a company apart from others. Well done, Her Room!

Final word: Her Room even has a little section with helpful tips for ladies like me 🙂

The Great Disney Lingerie Scandal of 2014

Earlier this week, I found myself involved in a very stimulating debate on Twitter regarding this subject. Also participating were such luminaries of the Twittersphere, blogosphere and various other spheres as Elisabeth Dale, Cora Harrington, and Ali Cudby. What sparked it all was this:


You can read the full story behind this here. Disclaimer: my command of written and indeed, spoken Japanese is zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Or, as the saying goes where I come from, the square root of f**k all (if there are any mathematicians reading this: yes, I do know that the square root of f**k all isn’t really a number at all).

What this is all about is lingerie, possibly aimed at a younger market, themed on various Disney “princess” characters. It should be pointed out that it is, at this time, unclear whether these products are officially licensed/sanctioned by Disney. Some of the comments (not from the fine ladies mentioned above, I hasten to add) this has provoked have been along the lines that they shouldn’t be marketing “lingerie” to young girls. Here’s my take on this:

1) The word “lingerie” originates from the French word “linge”, meaning literally “washable”. Over the years, its English usage has gained sexual overtones. Mention of the word “lingerie” evokes, in many peoples’ minds, Victoria’s Secret, crotchless panties, corsets, suspenders and the like. Fact is, in the English language, the meanings of words change over time. Example: Those of us of an age to remember “The Flintstones” may recall the last line of the theme song. “We’ll have a gay old time”. 50+ years ago, “gay” meant “happy”, “carefree”, “fun”. Some would argue that it still does, but that’s a whole other debate. Although, this does raise an interesting point: how come both couples had a child, yet we never saw Wilma or Betty pregnant? What WAS going on with Fred and Barney? But, as I am fond of saying, I digress. These are pretty little bra and pantie sets, that’s all.

2) What’s here is all rather innocent. I recall, back in the UK, some 20-ish years ago the ASDA supermarket chain (incidentally, now owned by Wal-Mart) carried a range of undies for younger girls that were a little prettier than the usual things you would find. A little bit of lace here, a little bit of embroidery there. It wasn’t peep-hole bras for 12 year old girls, and neither is this. However, there was an outcry from the “usual suspects”. Churches and the like. My daughter would have been about 11 or 12 at the time, I didn’t have an issue with her liking something like this, and neither did my ex. We actually thought it was a rather cute idea.

Final thought: is there really something wrong with teaching our daughters, even from a relatively young age, to take a bit of pride in their presentation from the very basics out? I say no. What say you?


If you’ve found your way here, you’ve probably already realised that I’m not about to start 2014 with a dissertation about spaghetti sauce. No, gentle reader, I’m talking about something close to my heart, and various other parts of my anatomy: shapewear. And it’s not the kind that gets that name nowadays. either. (Side note: someone once pointed out that a pair of Spanx is like a small hotel in that they both lack ballroom. But, I digress…..)

No, I’m talking about what used to be called corsetry. Foundation garments. Girdles, corselettes, that sort of thing. The sort of thing your mother or indeed, grandmother would have worn. If you watch TV shows like “Mad Men”, “Pan Am” or more recently, “Masters of Sex”, you’ll have seen them. Most of what you see in those shows comes from a company called Rago, and it’s readily available. Here’s a couple of my favourites:


Model 9357 – I own two of these, and have a third (in mocha & black) coming tomorrow. I’m tall, and the issue folks like me usually have with an “all-in-one” style garment is that it doesn’t come down far enough. Not this. Ideally, it should just leave the merest, naughtiest hint of cheeks exposed at the back for those of us who, like me, wear their panties over, and that’s just how it fits me. This is Rago’s firmest open-bottom corselette, but I’ve never found this uncomfortable, even after wearing it all day. And, it looks oh-so-sexy! Of course, there are six suspenders to keep your stockings in place.


Model 1294 – a high-waisted girdle with a hook and eye fastening which then zips up. Again, this is Rago’s firmest “traditional” girdle, but it’s very comfortable and supportive. I usually team this with a longline bra, which I’ll post about separately.

My buying tip for these sort of things is very simple: get a proper measurement, either by doing it yourself or by a professional, and buy your actual size. Don’t be tempted to go a size smaller to get more control – it doesn’t work that way.

If colours are your thing, both Orchard Corset and Girdlebound will dye white garments in any one of a range of colours for $10 when you buy them.

Finally – I recommend following @RagoShapewear on Twitter. They’re always willing to answer questions and are very appreciative of input. Stay sexy, ladies 🙂

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